Well I certainly have. If you have read my previous blogs, you'll know that that I took up a pre-med program for my undergrad studies. Pre-med, yes because almost all people that takes that program proceeds to Medicine, as what most of my friends have done and what I haven't. I did not proceed primarily because I was still not sure if I really want to become a doctor and secondly because I wanted a break after years of nonstop studying.
Anyway, my college friends and I have been so close that we almost consider each other as brothers and sisters. And since most of us will be going our separate ways, we promised to one another that we will still see each other, if our schedules would permit us. And yes, 4 months have passed and we are still keeping that promise, but I think I can't keep it that long. Why? It's because every time my friends and I would meet, I almost always feel out of place. As I said, most of them are Med students now and of course, after all the catching ups, they would resort in discussing school-related things. And obviously, I can not relate to a single thing they are discussing. My friends aren't that insensitive and would notice from time to time that me and some of our non-med student friends are already getting bored with the conversation and they would stop. But only for a few minutes and then back to the same topic. I have never felt so awkward and out of place all my life!
But to my really close friends, going out is not a problem until my best friend, yes from my previous blog--C, invited me to watch the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. Of course I was thrilled since we have been waiting for that movie to be shown in the cinema! But my excitement were soon gone when I learned that his new friends (med students) would be there as well. So I just made some lame excuse that I can't make it. Yes, I know that this would be the first of the many excuses that I have to make to not show up. And I felt awful, but not as awful when I saw the pictures he uploaded after the show and saw how happy he was with his new friends and soon-to-be-colleagues. Oh my, it really was a good thing that I ditched him, or else I'd be feeling more out of place more than ever!
I miss my friends and I definitely love them but it's just starting to sink-in to me that I am no longer among them. They are starting to create a world different from mine and I must accept the hurtful fact that I cannot be a big part of that, that I'm outside the circle, just observing them develop to this respected doctors that one day I have to pay for any health consultations. Life is cruel.
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