Dealing With "The Other Woman"

Okay, let's start by defining what "mistress" or "other woman."

Mistress (noun): a woman who has a continuing relationship with a committed/married man.

In truth about love, love is not always happy. More often than not, one person loves deeper than the other and this imbalance causes great pain. They say that the one who loves less in a relationship gets the alpha position. Well I guess it's true because no matter how much pain you're in, you'd be willing to endure everything just for the sake of your so-called partner in life. Don't get me wrong, I believe love gives you the best feeling in the world, but I also believe that it can also give you the worst.

I have this boyfriend for more than a year already and like any other couple, we fight. There came a point where we decided to cool things off for a bit and give each other space because sometimes, it really is better to not be just confined with each other all the time. We were still talking until this friend of mine, yes she WAS a friend, took advantage of the situation. I confronted my boyfriend and he admitted that something happened between them during our "cool off time" and promised that it'll never happened again; and of course being the naive girl that I am, believed him. We were back in each other's arms but something was always off and I can never pinpoint exactly what it is.

Then the girl posted a picture of her and my boyfriend, together, just the two of them side by side. I didn't know what to do. I trusted him and yet I see pictures of them? I confronted him and I can't believe what he just said, he claimed that they went out because they were "best friends." What just happened? Weeks ago they were lovers, then separated now they are BEST FRIENDS? How can that be possible? He even told me that he will leave me if I ever harm his best friend. WTF?

And you know what? I endured it. As said, the one who loves less possess the alpha position in the relationship and the one who loves deeper endures. Many times I have proven that he is willing to give up everything about our relationship for the sake of the other girl. I know I am being stupid for even staying but I am still human despite everything and I know, there will come a time that I'll just wake up and say "fuck this shit. I'm done." and when that time comes, I will never look back again. I will find myself someone better, someone more worth it and will make me feel that I am not just a mere option, but the chosen one.

For now, let me endure the pain, I can still take it. Let me emotionally damage myself for I know I will come back as a better and stronger person. To all the women out there, always remember the golden rule: Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. Karma's a bitch, it may not come for you now but when you're least expecting it, it'll come to you and stab you not just at the back, but up front as well. May mistresses find logic in their thinking. I am praying for them.

Ever feel like you're in the wrong place?

 Well I certainly have. If you have read my previous blogs, you'll know that that I took up a pre-med program for my undergrad studies. Pre-med, yes because almost all people that takes that program proceeds to Medicine, as what most of my friends have done and what I haven't. I did not proceed primarily because I was still not sure if I really want to become a doctor and secondly because I wanted a break after years of nonstop studying.

Anyway, my college friends and I have been so close that we almost consider each other as brothers and sisters. And since most of us will be going our separate ways, we promised to one another that we will still see each other, if our schedules would permit us. And yes, 4 months have passed and we are still keeping that promise, but I think I can't keep it that long. Why? It's because every time my friends and I would meet, I almost always feel out of place. As I said, most of them are Med students now and of course, after all the catching ups, they would resort in discussing school-related things. And obviously, I can not relate to a single thing they are discussing. My friends aren't that insensitive and would notice from time to time that me and some of our non-med student friends are already getting bored with the conversation and they would stop. But only for a few minutes and then back to the same topic. I have never felt so awkward and out of place all my life!

But to my really close friends, going out is not a problem until my best friend, yes from my previous blog--C, invited me to watch the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. Of course I was thrilled since we have been waiting for that movie to be shown in the cinema! But my excitement were soon gone when I learned that his new friends (med students) would be there as well. So I just made some lame excuse that I can't make it. Yes, I know that this would be the first of the many excuses that I have to make to not show up. And I felt awful, but not as awful when I saw the pictures he uploaded after the show and saw how happy he was with his new friends and soon-to-be-colleagues. Oh my, it really was a good thing that I ditched him, or else I'd be feeling more out of place more than ever!

I miss my friends and I definitely love them but it's just starting to sink-in to me that I am no longer among them. They are starting to create a world different from mine and I must accept the hurtful fact that I cannot be a big part of that, that I'm outside the circle, just observing them develop to this respected doctors that one day I have to pay for any health consultations. Life is cruel.

best friend vs. girlfriend (Part 1)

no, this is not the typical story of best friends that fell in love with each other. some may not agree with me, but yes, a boy and a girl CAN be best friends and remain just that.

it all started almost four years ago. I was a college freshman who grew in the province and eventually moved to the big city for college. typical, yes. but unlike others, i'm used to being away from my family since from high school i was already staying in a dormitory away from my family. but it doesn't mean i won't have that butterfly-in-my-stomach feeling for the first day of school.

i thought i was early for class since it starts at 1pm, and i was already there by 12:45pm. a bit hesitant to enter the room, but when i did, almost all chairs were already occupied, filled with excited students and mostly in pairs or groups. avoiding any more attention and feeling more awkward than ever, i sat at the nearest vacant seat without looking around. moving shyly, i settled in and i hated myself for not looking around in the first place for i was completely surrounded by guys! too late to transfer seat, i just kept quiet while everyone's getting acquainted.

then this one guy reached out his hand to me. at first i was shocked for i thought he was my ex-boyfriend. it took me a minute to put things together that he could not be the same guy since my ex moved to Australia and that he was different. he introduced himself not only to me but to everyone and he eventually became our class president. well, he is likable so no wonder he got the votes. while i remained as the tall, awkward girl.

so for some unknown reason, we became good friends. we got each other's cellphone numbers and email addresses and eventually talk to each other a lot. no, there was nothing going on between us. in front of our classmates, we talk casually, but behind them, we TALK and got to know each other more. we became even closer when during our sophomore and junior years, i became the class vice president while he's still the president. and btw, his name is Carlo.

Carlo is tall, has that boyish charm that makes him easily noticeable among a crowd, with a rather fit body. although many would take him as the serious looking guy, he has that smile that can lighten up your mood. while i'm the tall, fair-skinned girl with chinky eyes who's almost always beside him. yes, we were seen almost always together.

having a boy as a best friend is amazing! you feel protected all the time. you can tell him secrets and not worry about him telling to everyone. you can go home late and not worry about being alone 'cause he will always bring you home safely. you can get really really drunk and not worry about other guys taking advantage of you because you know he is just around you, protecting you. and if he's the one who's completely drunk and wasted, i 'm the one in-charge. it's a win-win situation. it's just like having a boyfriend; without the romantic attachments.

as time passed, we really got to know each other very well. we even travelled together a lot. there was even a time when he came home with me to the province and eventually met my family. yes, he went there alone, for a vacation. and i also got the chance to visit his province and meet his whole family as well. we even went shopping together a lot. when he has no clothes to wear for a party, he would always run to me for help in "dressing him". we also reached many places together (just the two of us and often with other friends as well). we attended concerts together. and yes, all of these happened without any romantic involvement maybe because both of us has a special someone and even give each other advises.

we also had some rough times together. there were times when he can really be insensitive and irritate me. i would not talk to him and ignore him and he'll sense my annoyance and would eventually make an effort to ease my mood. yes, we've already been through thick and thin.


(this has already been too long so i decided to cut the story in half. next part is the heart-breaking story part that leaves me crying and seeking the help of a priest!)